Wealth Point day 2: from the point

What I noted right away was how in the peripheral the reputation point is when I am as close to the wealth point as I can get. The family point is also in the peripheral but not as much. I face the Help/Travel point from here. There are a few things in that corner of the room that totally make sense, the desk is there along with quite a few items related to my jobs and work in general. Though I do not store the computer there.

What is jumping out at me from this view? Well, I haven’t done anything about the curtain rood situation. Quite a few items are on the floor over there. I am considering moving a shelf unit over there but the one I’m sure I want to move is the one on the exposed corner of the house and I’m not sure if I will feel psychologically ok with that being empty.

From here I do see the career point but not the Knowledge point. I think I do want to do something about the storage in the travel corner mainly because I don’t think the camera should just sit on the corner of the desk. On the other hand I want to actually start using the thing more. I haven’t done much with it in a year. I really haven’t used the microphone either. Which is sadface.

Part of that is time I think. I don’t set aside time to just do a small project with these things. I think it makes sense to have an office set up over there like all the office things over there. So yeah, it’s worth moving the book case over there just to see how it feels. Then that stuff on the right end of the desk could get moved and I’d have more desk space for actually writing or assembling things.

We can talk about how things look form the perspective of our wealth. Like, hi, there are things that may not be so clear if we are in the middle of our wealth looking out at the world. Things that would be clear are things related to play, travel and career. Those would be the clearest. The rest are skewed badly from this point.

How is that reflected in actually experience? Well, it does seem to track pretty well. Wealth does involve those three kinds of things often at least if we are thinking mainly of money. But even if we measure our wealth in terms of hours spent doing as we please these three would be visible. We have a career whether it involves job or not.

Wealth represents the potential of participating in people’s lives and going to them. From the wealth point we could look about and see what sort of land we’ve created for ourselves. Does this room look happy and in harmony? Almost. It seem that there is a sense of not knowing what to do with the space. Like the thing about the book self being in the other corner where emptiness may be more appropriate. So that goes on the changes list. I’ve got fix the curtain rod and move the book shelf and filing cabinet. They would be happier in the travel-career zone. Not sure what to do with the corner that would be empty but that will reveal itself eventually. I kind of want to go for the furniture moving now.

Wealth Point day 1: facing the point

What I can see from here is the book shelf in the corner. The top shelf which is closest to the location of the point in the room holds a glass jar, a little jam jar with facets, it is open as though to receive something. Below that there is a pile of handwoven cloths, then my spare pillow case.  Below that the art supplies. Below that, where I can’t see them now, are old journals. The top of the book case is empty.

There are other things on the shelves but they aren’t on the wealth line. They are headed toward the reputation point. In fact it’s interesting that my hoard of pennies and other small change is right on the boarder between wealth and reputation almost like saying money is more about how I want other people to see me? It’s a thought.

I read a thing in a book recently about what wealth is: wealth is a person’s ability to survive so many days into the future or something. Anyway we typically think of money as the unit of measuring wealth but isn’t it imaginary? If I want a lot of money units I have to acquirer assets. assets make money. This is all financial horse sense. The challenge is when money cannot guarantee survival. It cant’ be the only unit of security.

one thing I wrestle with is how much effort I should put into doing the “rich people” things. I really don’t want to make a lot of decisions. It’s not a matter of cowardice. It’s just that it really puts me into a deep existential crisis every time and when I don’t decide other people sort of “force” me to do things they way they feel comfortable doing them.

I don’t want to be a billionaire, or rather I don’t want to put in the work to get there. I would rather cover my living expenses and have the space to doodle through the day. Is it possible to become wealthy on a part time income? God I hope so. Seems impossible in this economy. After all our system is feudalism under different names. I’m a peasant! Wheee!

So for me what is wealth? What do I need to collect to feel generous? Isn’t that the real sign of wealth the ability to be generous, not be concerned about the things. Have faith that tomorrow is going to be fine and if it is stressful that’s temporary and it will come back around to good. I like the idea of operating that way not sure I can actually pull it off.

Anyway what I have in the corner could be turned into assets. I could use the hand woven cloth, sell it or develop ip around the making of it. The art supplies are a similar story . In fact my business may be the development of ip. That’s something I can look into as a next step in learning how to do this sort of thing better. I also have the nagging voice in me telling me to write my will and arrange my financial affairs so that someone could take them over smoothly when I kick off. I do not know who that would be though. #SingleLifeProblems.

Health and Family Point: day 3 and 4

Yesterday morning I woke up with an image in my mind of what health and family felt like and knew I had to draw it to the best of my ability. It is interesting that I do not think of crowds of people. I seem to always see myself individually. I am happy there is a cat with me through. Weirdly I have drawn myself as a happy man singing in the kitchen. I do not identify as male, though to be sure I have a dude streak in me. There are plants on the sill because that is a sign of life and growth. I don’t know why the cabinets ended up red.

I struggled a lot with drawing his hands.

This image is a place holder or rough draft of something I invite into my life.

I did take down the tripod and put it away. I will see about the curtain rod later. I am reading four books right now that all have a, “organize your life” kind of message. I am getting a lot of ideas about what I ought to do about a few things. I do this kind of thing when I have determined to focus on one thing. I tend to want to start everything els instead of getting the one thing done! Could that mean that part of me is stuck in the past?

Oh it’s like I’m so excited and want to do things that I lose focus. Like, a puppy so beside itself to have a new bone it can’t pick one thing to do with it.

Health and Family Point: day 2 assessment from the point

I have discovered a very nice little nook situation by sitting here. I am between the bed and a book shelf unit. I can see all the windows in this room and none of the doors. Wow, I hadn’t realizes that from here I can’t see three of the points; knowledge/spirituality, career and travel/networking are invisible. It has been the case for years because of how this room demands the bed be positioned and the fact that I do not sleep well facing doors.

There is a large window in front of me, we are on a corner and this is the corner room exposed to view of two streets. I like the window to a point. I have put two layers of curtains on it. The one closes to the window acts as a diffuser and privacy screen the one closer is for blocking out some light and decoration. It has butterflies flying upward printed on it. But the curtain rod is pulling away from the wall.

I see the play/child point clearly that is the first one I notice because of course it is across from the HF point. There is a tripod there right now and the window nothing else the floor is basically clear. Space for dancing you know.

The marriage corner is a hot mess. It would be better empty. I can see the bookcase from here and it is full of dreams, aspirations and half done things, and probably flat out junk. Oddly the filling cabinet is in that area too on the border between marriage and reputation.

I wonder if there is a masculine direction and a feminine direction to moving through the bagua map. Like, they start in family and the male goes into knowledge, career, travel, children, marriage? Woah, that doesn’t exactly fly, but might. The female would go wealth, reputation marriage. This makes sense with the traditional way marriages were done. Not what I thought would come up.

As to me here and now, from this point I see that there is a cut off or divide between knowledge, career and networking, and the health and family aspects. I can see the house plant though and this is where the hook that holds the bells and jewelry is this hook is not visible to half the room. But what does this bring up as far as what I want my family life to be like?

Yesterday I concluded that this point is about food. We can think of what feeds us: music, story, and ceremony feed us. Interacting with safe people feeds us. The family is a group that I can relax and play in. It is also a source of nourishment and refuge for healing. It should be comfortable but not too comfortable. In some ways having it buffered from the career makes sense. Especially in this culture where career is a monster that can take over your life and boss you around if you aren’t careful.

Is there an action sitting here suggests? Well, putting away the tripod. That doesn’t need to be there. Right, and doing something about the curtain rod. And clearing out the clutter in the marriage corner especially the stuff on the floor. Freedom of movement seems important. Having the floor clear signals to me that there is space to move in.

The Health and Family Point: day 1 assessment facing the point

I have been focused on health and wellness since I was 19. Its roots are in my family so it started even before then with the spiritual life and my mother’s profession. These were major influencers in my choice of identity. That identity has always been called into question by my own doubts and the trends of society. There are a lot of ideas about health. What is health? Until I have my definition of health I will pursue empty ends. This is the hard thing for so many years it was someone out there something out there is my answer and sure I would know it when I saw it. Now though I wonder if could know it.

On my wall at the health and family point there is a note about how I must peruse my goals, the goals of my child self. It is in the corner of a bulletin board. Maybe this is related to the family thing, that for so long I had put aside my hopes and projects out of the belief that we had to take turns and that eventually it would be my turn. I trusted that the adults would see me and go along with my ideas eventually. But in the waiting I lost the ability to talk about those ideas. That led to withdrawing and inaction then to the tendency to feel helpless and shut down.

Above the note is a butterfly pin. Butterflies are hopeful and uplifting because they fly. We find them beautiful. But if you think about the short life of a butterfly it is clear that beauty is short lived and often violent. The butterfly world is brutal, so was growing up. All of this experience is temporary and I could be excused to some extent for giving up and wallowing in a nest of familiar things, that would be easy.

Family is at the root of everything. What I was gifted and how to develop those gifts. Ways of working often run in families. What work have we bread for? Some dogs are guard dogs, and some heard, and others are just silly. What kind of dog am I? There’s the kind I want to be but that’s different form the one I am today. There’s the kind of family I want to have and then there’s the one I do have and then there’s the one other people imagine I have. It can get complicated.

The cork board is painted grey and white and black. It gives the impression of dark moody rain for me this is calming. The wall is also grey, the paint is pealed a bit where the bed used to be. If I look down there is an electrical receptacle and the edge of my bed. My family has been a source of security for me they have supported and protected me my entire life in a way that I hear other families do not. I am grateful.

What do I hope for in a family and in my own health? I feel that this theme is more about the kitchen than the gym. About nourishing things. Like, really getting into what nourishes me so that I can flourish and do the work I am called to do. So to me this point is about house and food and those with whom I share it. Whether they are visitors for an hour or long term residents.

Hospitality on the wealth side and spiritual formation on the other. In Feng Sui family sits between wealth and knowledge. Beginning from our family the knowledge given to us leads to the business we do and our collective wealth leads to a family reputation. These are things that come form our family system. Our decisions about these matters will shape what we pass on to the next generation.

One thing to do: tidy up regularly. Why? because then I can see clearly what is here and feel organized. when I have kept a space functionally organized and do the work to maintain that I often feel able to move past a block. The other thing I’ve noticed is a tendency to worry about logistical things especially food when I anticipate a very busy season. It gets to the point where I sort of short out and not do the thing that would support me best. Like how I ended up eating mostly chips and crackers yesterday…sigh. I expect that maintaining an organized environment will help make feeding myself easier.