The Health and Family Point: day 1 assessment facing the point

I have been focused on health and wellness since I was 19. Its roots are in my family so it started even before then with the spiritual life and my mother’s profession. These were major influencers in my choice of identity. That identity has always been called into question by my own doubts and the trends of society. There are a lot of ideas about health. What is health? Until I have my definition of health I will pursue empty ends. This is the hard thing for so many years it was someone out there something out there is my answer and sure I would know it when I saw it. Now though I wonder if could know it.

On my wall at the health and family point there is a note about how I must peruse my goals, the goals of my child self. It is in the corner of a bulletin board. Maybe this is related to the family thing, that for so long I had put aside my hopes and projects out of the belief that we had to take turns and that eventually it would be my turn. I trusted that the adults would see me and go along with my ideas eventually. But in the waiting I lost the ability to talk about those ideas. That led to withdrawing and inaction then to the tendency to feel helpless and shut down.

Above the note is a butterfly pin. Butterflies are hopeful and uplifting because they fly. We find them beautiful. But if you think about the short life of a butterfly it is clear that beauty is short lived and often violent. The butterfly world is brutal, so was growing up. All of this experience is temporary and I could be excused to some extent for giving up and wallowing in a nest of familiar things, that would be easy.

Family is at the root of everything. What I was gifted and how to develop those gifts. Ways of working often run in families. What work have we bread for? Some dogs are guard dogs, and some heard, and others are just silly. What kind of dog am I? There’s the kind I want to be but that’s different form the one I am today. There’s the kind of family I want to have and then there’s the one I do have and then there’s the one other people imagine I have. It can get complicated.

The cork board is painted grey and white and black. It gives the impression of dark moody rain for me this is calming. The wall is also grey, the paint is pealed a bit where the bed used to be. If I look down there is an electrical receptacle and the edge of my bed. My family has been a source of security for me they have supported and protected me my entire life in a way that I hear other families do not. I am grateful.

What do I hope for in a family and in my own health? I feel that this theme is more about the kitchen than the gym. About nourishing things. Like, really getting into what nourishes me so that I can flourish and do the work I am called to do. So to me this point is about house and food and those with whom I share it. Whether they are visitors for an hour or long term residents.

Hospitality on the wealth side and spiritual formation on the other. In Feng Sui family sits between wealth and knowledge. Beginning from our family the knowledge given to us leads to the business we do and our collective wealth leads to a family reputation. These are things that come form our family system. Our decisions about these matters will shape what we pass on to the next generation.

One thing to do: tidy up regularly. Why? because then I can see clearly what is here and feel organized. when I have kept a space functionally organized and do the work to maintain that I often feel able to move past a block. The other thing I’ve noticed is a tendency to worry about logistical things especially food when I anticipate a very busy season. It gets to the point where I sort of short out and not do the thing that would support me best. Like how I ended up eating mostly chips and crackers yesterday…sigh. I expect that maintaining an organized environment will help make feeding myself easier.